Missing you...

I am home with Ava today, watching her play right now and I feel overcome with thankfulness for this beautiful baby girl!   Its's difficult some days b/c even though there's not a day that goes by where I don't think of her big brother, there are some days where the pain of not having him here cuts so deep.  Every time I have one of these days I am surprised by how much it still hurts.  Its like that tortuous pain I felt the days and months after losing Mason never really went away, I just am able to bury it for a time and then it comes flooding back out all at once...